August 20, 2010

Game theory

'I understand your trepidation; you have been let down before, but getting your feelings hurt is part of the game.
'
Corey Barnes, The Cleveland Plain Dealer
Barnes is talking to Browns fans about football. But the point could be made about anything you care about, and some things you don’t.

Today my friend’s daughter is getting married in Detroit. I’m not invited, and I understand why. I was demoted from the guest list years back when irreconcilable differences derailed our friendship. Because we have some fabulous friends in common, we’ve patched things up on the surface. Being ‘let down before’ applies to us both, time and again, as we fail to make space for each other in the interstices of our lives.

But football wisdom aside, there’s a difference between something you play (or watch) for sport and something you get one shot at: life. Maybe this is why sports metaphors tossed around by pundits and preachers strike me as shallow. The interstices of our lives are not games; they come with complex, often inscrutable emotions.

Which is probably why a wedding I’d just as soon avoid is still capable of touching my need. To be loved, to be remembered.

Maybe the sports-philosopher gets it right after all. What better life experience than game to teach us this: perspective heals. There’s more to life than any one instance or feeling. There’s more to sport than any one game. And serious as we may think our team or life standing may be, in the long view we’re all running around with ridiculous armor and war paint, heaving our weight in the path of need.

You can tell I’m no football fan. So tell me why the quote at the top pulled me in to the place of heart, this fragile arena of life.

Painting by John Anster Fitzgerald, The Marriage of Oberon and Titania

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